My sweet babies. You two never got to have mommy to yourselves. We were never able to spend days alone together, cuddled up in the glider. You guys didn’t get to be with mommy when she was first learning to be a mommy. When you two met me, I was already a mommy to Sylas.
Josie, when you were nursing, Sylas was likely on my lap as well. If he wasn’t, you could hear him talking, laughing, crying, yelling, or playing while you were nursing. While I was looking into your eyes and talking to you, Sylas was next to us also vying for my attention. When I was changing your diaper and putting lotion on you, Sylas was probably poking at you, talking to you, or begging mommy to hold him.
Liam, you get all that Josie had plus some. You have to share your nursing time, diapering time, playing time, and quiet time with two toddlers. Sometimes, both toddlers are on my lap while I nurse you. When I change your diaper, one toddler is next to you while the other is jumping on my back and poking their head over my shoulder to say ‘hi baby’ to you. When I carry you, I may just have a toddler on my hip as well. You have to share every aspect of your life with them. You have to constantly share your mommy as you try to figure out your way in this big world.
My heart aches when I think of it that way. Neither of you got mommy’s full attention in your first year. You didn’t choose this, you didn’t choose to have siblings so close to your own age that also need mommy’s attention.
I have to constantly remind myself that it isn’t a bad thing to have to share all of mommy’s attention. It isn’t bad to share all of your time and experiences. It’s actually so good!! You both have two partners in this crazy world. You have two people so close to your own age that love you so much. You have constant play mates and confidantes. You have constant companionship. You have a model for how to do new things.
I hope that it is a comfort to you to never have to do anything alone. I hope that you love having your siblings be your best friends. I hope that all of this only makes all three of you closer to one another throughout your life.
I hope that you know you are never, ever alone and that you will always have one another to lean on when mommy can’t be there.
You may have had to always share your mommy, but you also always have best friends by your side. Best friends who will keep you company when mommy has to give her attention to someone (or something) else.
I love the bond that all three of you already share and I am so excited to see how that bond grows over the years.
I didn’t plan to have you all so close together, but it sure worked out in it’s own way. I love you, my babies.